"That was a great life."

Loss does funny things to you. Whether it is the fear of loss or loss itself, each person reacts to it differently. Some cry, some hide it, some run, and some bake. Me? I do a bit of all. Whether it is to protect myself, or others, or even because I don’t know what else to do so follow the example set by the people around me.

Loss is one of those things that we dread, that we instinctively deny. No one truly wants to lose something – even weight. Because, once it’s gone, we fear that maybe a little piece of our self, our lives, will go along with it. And we don’t quite know which part of us will be leaving.

But one of the scariest things about loss, I think, is the hanging cloud it leaves behind, sometimes for years after the actual event. To the point that we see a situation that may lead to yet another loss, and we run, we panic, and, unlike before the first time we lost a friend, a pet, or even that Barbie doll, we can’t see sunny side of things. Or, at the least, the sun is hiding behind the clouds and letting the cool breeze of memory chill our bones. It regurgitates all of the emotions and fears that you felt last time – the confusion, the cluelessness, the desperation. Even the guilt.

Loss is the trigger for so many other emotions. Even though we know we couldn’t have done anything to stop it, we still feel guilty and responsible in some minute way that we are compelled to do more than needed the next time we are in that situation in the fear that the guilt will be doubled, our self-doubt will double and we will eventually break under the pressure of the guilt – the guilt that started only from a sense of helplessness brought upon by loss.

But - and there’s always a but - sometimes, in the one in a million chance (that happens all the time) instead of guilt, instead of fear, we experience something magical. We experience love. Complete and unwavering love in its purest kind. If we’re really lucky, we don’t get affected by the memories of loss, the friend, the pet, the loss of that Barbie doll. Instead, we focus on the sunny side as it prevails – a million years of power sat in the sky beating the cloud who began only twenty five minutes ago. And like the patient given a few days to live, we spend as much time with our situation, making the most of it, learning from it, loving it. Ignoring the possibility that this will lead to a greater loss, but hoping it will leave you thinking the best thought:

‘That was a great life.’